Surgery tomorrow… I’m totally freaked out…

I know I haven’t been around much this past week, I’ve been dealing with so many doctor appointments and all that driving back and forth plus the pain… it’s just taken it’s toll on me. To say I’m worn out exhausted would be an understatement. Plus I haven’t really slept much at all this week because we finally have my surgery planned and I’m completely freaked out. Not sure why exactly, I’ve had two surgeries before but for some reason I’m terrified this time around and really just dread having this surgery. I know I only have two choices, I either just deal with the pain or I have the surgery done and of course the logical and smart choice is the surgery but I can’t help but being freaked out. I get panic attacks and I’ve had one all week long now over this. My surgery is tomorrow… yep… tomorrow. It was tomorrow afternoon but now it’s tomorrow morning bright and early. It was bumped up to 8am and I have to be there by 6am which means we have to leave super early since it’s an hour drive plus we have to get Abby settled in at her Mimi’s house. With the way I haven’t been able to fall asleep here lately I would probably be finally falling asleep around the time I would have to get up so I’m sure I’m not going to be sleeping tonight. Maybe I’ll get caught up on a few more blog posts tonight, it would at least keep me distracted although wouldn’t help take away the pain. I am just a nervous wreck right now… I hate surgery, I worry something will go wrong. Yes I’m a big worry bug and even the tiniest thought of something going wrong terrifies me. Okay… the more I sit here and think about it the more I feel another panic attack coming on… back to laundry and keeping myself busy.