Resolutions, Goals, Challenges

I typically avoid making resolutions for the new year.

I’m a bit too scatterbrained and I tend to change my mind, and focus, too much to stick to just one thing.

besides…

I usually forget within about a week or two and never accomplish any resolutions I set for myself.

However…

this year, I am setting resolutions…

Goals actually

I’m challenging myself

I’m challenging myself to finally, FINALLY, take that much needed step and accomplish things I’ve been telling myself to for a year (or two) yet never seem to be able to follow through with.

These are steps I need to take, steps that I know will make a positive difference in my life.

And I’m sharing everything here so I (and possibly a few of you) can hold myself accountable.

….and so I won’t forget haha

This year, I will learn not to care as much, not to try so hard.
I’m the absolute worst at caring way too much, especially when others don’t care at all. And I try too hard, I try way too hard to help others, to fix things, to go above and beyond and I’ve learned that I’m just wasting my time.

I’ll stop being such a people pleaser, I’ll stop trying to make everyone happy.
I always focus so much on making others happy, pleasing them, doing everything possible I can to help and make others happy that I often lose me in the process and again, I’ve learned it’s a waste of time.

I’ll stop trying to fit in where I clearly don’t belong.
All too often, I change who I am in order to try to fit in, in hopes others will like me, to desperately fill my life with friends. And in the end? Those never turn into lasting friendships and why have friends I have to change who I am for? I want friends who accept me for me, I want to find where I fit in as me, I want to find my place, people who share the same interests and where I do belong.

I will learn to walk away, leave toxic friendships and groups, remove those who aren’t in my life for the right reasons, remove fake friends and those who only keep me around for when it’s convenient for them or when they need something.
This will be the hardest for me yet I should have done this a long time ago. Staying in groups where I’m no longer welcome, where I don’t fit in, where it’s turned into a “mean girl clique” does nothing to help my mental state and causes depression I don’t need. Keeping toxic friendships, keeping those around who never speak or act like I exist does nothing but make me feel unwanted and again, doesn’t help me at all. Removing, leaving, eliminating all of this will be hard and will be lonely but then again, if they aren’t real friendships, if I don’t belong to the groups anymore anyways, how much lonelier can things get? This is a big step and eventually, life will be so much better because I took this step.

I will be okay.

I can do this.

I will do what makes me happy.

I will challenge myself to take steps towards new goals, towards doing what I truly want to and what I love.

I will go after my dreams and turn dreams into reality.

I will focus on my family, enjoy more time together. I’ll make our house a home, learn to cook more/better meals. I will declutter and live simply. I’ll enjoy more time with my daughter, encourage her and help her learn and grow. I’ll help her overcome more obstacles, be a role model for her and build our relationship even more.

I’ll focus on me, my health, accepting myself for who I am and as I am. I’ll learn to see my true potential and know that I am enough.

I will enjoy doing what I love, liking what I like, reading what I want, wearing my style, being myself and ignore all the negative and judgmental comments from others who simply want me box me into being who they expect me to be.

I will be me.

I will be happy.

I’ll take that first step.